Cold Nostalgia

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Friday, January 28, 2011 @ 1/28/2011 01:39:00 AM

*As usual, you are the first i want to call and cry to when i am down. Hate it.*

I feel betrayed. Maybe i have no right to say this. But yes, i really felt like, i am very naive. How wonderful.

What kind of night is this? Why is it that my tears is flowing uncontrollably?

No family is perfect. So is the relatives you have. Same as individuals. No human is perfect.

Trust. It's the most essential thing in maintaining a relationship; friends, family etc.

An elder that i respected, break the trust with my family.

She totally lost the very basic that she can ever have in her whole life.

Heartbroken.

Mixed feelings.

Please be safe. And yet, please, don't appear in front of us. I'm afraid, i will do/say things disrespectful to you.
Please take care wherever you are.

Thursday, January 20, 2011 @ 1/20/2011 01:09:00 AM

School starting next Friday. Not liking it suddenly. I'm aiming to get A- for all to get a GPA 3.5. I think i'm aiming a bit too far. It looks a bit far-fetch. *shrugs* What's with all this education anyway? Getting a certificate just for the job? Maybe not even a job that you may like. How about this, a desk-bound job, facing the computer fill with unknown language. Or maybe, a stacks of receipts, a calculator, balance sheet....

Life goes on......

And i still don't like this feeling. It's since yesterday. Ah~ never mind.

Tomorrow shall go JB.

Oh!! Guess i got a job already. That's fast, eh? Ya~~ Fast. If not for the green papers, i won't even slog. I seriously is let it controlled me like mad. Argh~!! But well, i'll still have to wait for the agent to call me again. She need to discuss with the company on my package. Suddenly, i sounds like a product. *shrugs*

Time to sleep. Meeting J.L at 10am.

Ciaos~

*Watched Aladdin earlier on. Cartoons/Anime is so amazing. If only our life can be so.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011 @ 1/18/2011 10:41:00 PM

**Stop asking me or my friend how am i. I'm fine. Appreciate your concern. I love those concern of yours and i miss it. But no, stop all these. What is your main purpose? What are you thinking exactly? Stop it when i'm your nobody. **

Time flies. Finally, i ended my 1 year work contract yesterday, officially. *claps* Like finally, one full year in a job. How proud am i. *sarcastic*

I ain't in very good mood thou. Wanted very much to find a blogskin and design it. *shrugx* Any help? Guess not.

I don't like this feeling. Totally. This feeling is so indescribable. I don't even know if i should cry or just frown the whole night. I'm so weird, eh.

Probably i should sleep early. Probably i should hit the gym or the workout stations near my home tomorrow. Probably i should start cleaning the house and my room tomorrow. Probably i should start wrapping my new books and textbooks. Probably.......even after doing all these to keep my pea brain occupy, you will never leave.

What is wrong with this crush thingie?! Oh gosh. It's been so long!! *sigh*

Thursday, January 13, 2011 @ 1/13/2011 12:18:00 AM

* 11Jan - You msn-ed me at 0028. Don't feel right. Felt that you are troubled. Or i m just too sensitive?*

Anyway, i realized something when i was on cab to work on Tuesday, 11Jan. And i think i came to a conclusion for that. This is what i realized:

Try taking something small. Even lifting up your hand. And place in front of you. Turn one round and focus on the small thing you are holding or your hand. Did anyone realized that, things behind is covered by your hand or the small objects you're holding? Did anyone get it? Okay. Put it in another way. For example, there is one bottle in front of you, say, height 40cm width 15cm. You stand far away from it and then lift up your hand. Now, this bottle is "well-covered" by your "big" hand at the place your standing. Try walking nearer one step at a time. Realized the bottle gets "bigger"?

What am i trying to do with this "only kids will do" things? (Okay, probably kids nowadays also not as bored as me.) When one stand away from the bottle, they acknowledge the bottle existence, but yet deny the fact of its actual size. Imagine the bottle represent individuals' problems in life (work, relationship, family, money, studies etc).

It's not that they never acknowledge the problems, but rather, they "cover" it well so that they will think that the problem is not a very big issue at all. Good and bad to have such mentality. I mean, at least probably they are on the way to solve that problem that is why they don't find it as a big issue. If that is the case, how about the other group of people who didn't do the same?

Wednesday, January 5, 2011 @ 1/05/2011 11:53:00 PM

Poor me.

I have been working overtime since Monday. And reach workplace about 0730-0750. And is by cab! Oh no~! Wallet dry, energy dry! Dark eye circles!! *and the grumble goes on*

Tuesday, January 4, 2011 @ 1/04/2011 12:07:00 AM

2011~~

Alright! First post for 2011. *giggles*

I guess most people set their own resolutions and is working towards it already. So am I! So here goes my resolution for 2011:

1. To lose weight for health reasons. Definitely for health reasons. Seeing the needle on the weighing machine keep going to the right is no funny matter! Therefore, before the Chinese New Year i must lose at least 5kg. Then follow by end May another 5kg. In any way, total kilos to shed off by mid Dec 2011 is 18kg. A lot to lose, eh? Ya, i gotta agree. Standing at 1.58cm weighing at .... **kg. *apologies. i still mind about disclosing such figure.* *think* Ahh. Heck. Okay. The last i weigh was 68kg. *screams* My Dear Miss CG. Please do not scream ya? *laughs*

*side note: wow, that's a lot for the first resolution. *laughs*

2. To study hard and aim for CGPA 4.0! *claps claps claps*

3. To get a job, preferably another one year permanent contract job.

4. To be able to save at least 1K, aside my debts and school fees.

Last but not least,

5. No exams on or after my birthday. This means that, i wish all my exams finish before my birthday. *laughs* Sounds hard. tsk. Guess this one more like a wish than resolution. I must have gone crazy. *laughs* ignore this then.

OH! Maybe the no. 5 resolution can be replace by this: Forgetting.....Sarah Marshall?? *laughs* Lame~. Alright, it is to forget him. Accepting the other, totally. *winks* And stop my freaking small pea brain to link almost everything, and yes i mean, EVERYTHING, to him. *roll eyes* *laughs* I wish him happiness, always. The last time to say this *cross fingers*, i miss and love him.....

ALRIGHT. Resolution settle!! What's next? Time to work~! Or probably.. Time to sleep!!!! Ciaos~

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Friday, January 28, 2011 @ 1/28/2011 01:39:00 AM As usual, you are the first i want to call and cry to when i am down. Hate it. I feel betrayed. Maybe i have no right to say this. But yes, i really felt like, i am very naive. How wonderful. What kind of night is this? Why is it that my tears is flowing uncontrollably? No family is perfect. So is the relatives you have. Same as individuals. No human is perfect. Trust. It's the most essential thing in maintaining a relationship; friends, family etc. An elder that i respected, break the trust with my family. She totally lost the very basic that she can ever have in her whole life. Heartbroken. Mixed feelings. Please be safe. And yet, please, don't appear in front of us. I'm afraid, i will do/say things disrespectful to you. Please take care wherever you are. back to top?
Thursday, January 20, 2011 @ 1/20/2011 01:09:00 AM School starting next Friday. Not liking it suddenly. I'm aiming to get A- for all to get a GPA 3.5. I think i'm aiming a bit too far. It looks a bit far-fetch. shrugs What's with all this education anyway? Getting a certificate just for the job? Maybe not even a job that you may like. How about this, a desk-bound job, facing the computer fill with unknown language. Or maybe, a stacks of receipts, a calculator, balance sheet.... Life goes on...... And i still don't like this feeling. It's since yesterday. Ah~ never mind. Tomorrow shall go JB. Oh!! Guess i got a job already. That's fast, eh? Ya~~ Fast. If not for the green papers, i won't even slog. I seriously is let it controlled me like mad. Argh~!! But well, i'll still have to wait for the agent to call me again. She need to discuss with the company on my package. Suddenly, i sounds like a product. shrugs Time to sleep. Meeting J.L at 10am. Ciaos~ *Watched Aladdin earlier on. Cartoons/Anime is so amazing. If only our life can be so. back to top?
Tuesday, January 18, 2011 @ 1/18/2011 10:41:00 PM Stop asking me or my friend how am i. I'm fine. Appreciate your concern. I love those concern of yours and i miss it. But no, stop all these. What is your main purpose? What are you thinking exactly? Stop it when i'm your nobody. Time flies. Finally, i ended my 1 year work contract yesterday, officially. claps Like finally, one full year in a job. How proud am i. sarcastic I ain't in very good mood thou. Wanted very much to find a blogskin and design it. shrugx Any help? Guess not. I don't like this feeling. Totally. This feeling is so indescribable. I don't even know if i should cry or just frown the whole night. I'm so weird, eh. Probably i should sleep early. Probably i should hit the gym or the workout stations near my home tomorrow. Probably i should start cleaning the house and my room tomorrow. Probably i should start wrapping my new books and textbooks. Probably.......even after doing all these to keep my pea brain occupy, you will never leave. What is wrong with this crush thingie?! Oh gosh. It's been so long!! sigh back to top?
Thursday, January 13, 2011 @ 1/13/2011 12:18:00 AM * 11Jan - You msn-ed me at 0028. Don't feel right. Felt that you are troubled. Or i m just too sensitive?* Anyway, i realized something when i was on cab to work on Tuesday, 11Jan. And i think i came to a conclusion for that. This is what i realized: Try taking something small. Even lifting up your hand. And place in front of you. Turn one round and focus on the small thing you are holding or your hand. Did anyone realized that, things behind is covered by your hand or the small objects you're holding? Did anyone get it? Okay. Put it in another way. For example, there is one bottle in front of you, say, height 40cm width 15cm. You stand far away from it and then lift up your hand. Now, this bottle is "well-covered" by your "big" hand at the place your standing. Try walking nearer one step at a time. Realized the bottle gets "bigger"? What am i trying to do with this "only kids will do" things? (Okay, probably kids nowadays also not as bored as me.) When one stand away from the bottle, they acknowledge the bottle existence, but yet deny the fact of its actual size. Imagine the bottle represent individuals' problems in life (work, relationship, family, money, studies etc). It's not that they never acknowledge the problems, but rather, they "cover" it well so that they will think that the problem is not a very big issue at all. Good and bad to have such mentality. I mean, at least probably they are on the way to solve that problem that is why they don't find it as a big issue. If that is the case, how about the other group of people who didn't do the same? back to top?
Wednesday, January 5, 2011 @ 1/05/2011 11:53:00 PM Poor me. I have been working overtime since Monday. And reach workplace about 0730-0750. And is by cab! Oh no~! Wallet dry, energy dry! Dark eye circles!! and the grumble goes on back to top?
Tuesday, January 4, 2011 @ 1/04/2011 12:07:00 AM 2011~~ Alright! First post for 2011. giggles I guess most people set their own resolutions and is working towards it already. So am I! So here goes my resolution for 2011: 1. To lose weight for health reasons. Definitely for health reasons. Seeing the needle on the weighing machine keep going to the right is no funny matter! Therefore, before the Chinese New Year i must lose at least 5kg. Then follow by end May another 5kg. In any way, total kilos to shed off by mid Dec 2011 is 18kg. A lot to lose, eh? Ya, i gotta agree. Standing at 1.58cm weighing at .... *kg. apologies. i still mind about disclosing such figure.* think Ahh. Heck. Okay. The last i weigh was 68kg. screams My Dear Miss CG. Please do not scream ya? laughs side note: wow, that's a lot for the first resolution. laughs* 2. To study hard and aim for CGPA 4.0! claps claps claps 3. To get a job, preferably another one year permanent contract job. 4. To be able to save at least 1K, aside my debts and school fees. Last but not least, 5. No exams on or after my birthday. This means that, i wish all my exams finish before my birthday. laughs Sounds hard. tsk. Guess this one more like a wish than resolution. I must have gone crazy. laughs ignore this then. OH! Maybe the no. 5 resolution can be replace by this: Forgetting.....Sarah Marshall?? laughs Lame~. Alright, it is to forget him. Accepting the other, totally. winks And stop my freaking small pea brain to link almost everything, and yes i mean, EVERYTHING, to him. roll eyes laughs I wish him happiness, always. The last time to say this cross fingers, i miss and love him..... ALRIGHT. Resolution settle!! What's next? Time to work~! Or probably.. Time to sleep!!!! Ciaos~ back to top?